Today I went to church as usual, just a little late though.
When I was going to get off the bus (no. 24), I noticed that someone from church (lower sec. too) also took the same bus.
Wondered why I never noticed before. Well, I'm bad at remembering names, so I suppose I'm bad at remembering ANYTHING at all.
Hm, so today's Fuel went as usual, just that now I feel a lot more compelled to get Zann (and the other non-believers in class) for 'Get Smart, Play Hard', a game show held at my church just next Saturday and Sunday.
I'm going for the Sunday one. Can't go for the Saturday one, got ballet...
Anyway, after that, service went as usual, just that I was sitting with my buzz group instead of the usual age group.
So after that, I went to meet up with my parents. I was waiting for them at the foot of the stairs on the 3rd floor but didn't see them, so I went to the 2nd floor foyer. My brother told me to go ahead of him.
Soon after I met up with my parents, my brother came along, saying that he's going to stay back in church and that if my parents would pick him up at 6 p.m. after whatever he was going to do.
It appears that he was going to 'Welcome to the Trinity Family' (WttTF), a course by Trinity Christian Centre to get the newbies accustomed to this church.
I'm not exactly a newbie, I've been here for at least 9 months. I wanted to go for it, but at the same time didn't want to. If you get caught in my predicament, you'll know how it feels. So anyway, my parents suggested I go. So I agreed, feeling pretty happy with myself.
We decided to take our lunch at the Han's outlet in my church.
We waited dunno how long to get to the counter, then another 20 more minutes before the food came. And the Chicken Superburger didn't even taste THAT nice!
Buy I washed it down with a little ice lemon tea I stole from my father's set meal.
When I checked the bulliten (sp?) for what time WttTF starts, it appears that it starts at 14:00. My brother lied to me... that @(!%($+-~*#.
So we had a lot of time.
The course was held at classrooms 9 & 10. We got in and were registered under the 'walk in' category cuz' we did not sign up before hand. It appears that majority were in the 'walk in' category.
=F
There was a section, preached by Brother Andy, about speaking in tongues.
I've always wanted to speak in tongues. Since I was a kid, I've been exposed to adults speaking in tongues, people a few years my senior speaking in tongues, and recently, people my age speaking in tongues.
I wanted to speak in tongues so badly.
Call it compulsion.
Anyway, when Brother Andy called up those who wanted to speak in tongues, I went.
The four things to note are:
Relax
Believe
Don't Rationalize
Speak
Way before that, I was already starting to have my stomach juices riding the waves. I had no idea why. All I know was that it was at least 3 or 4 times how it felt during the alter call a while ago.
When I went up, they asked us to raise our hands as if to receive God's prescence and the holy spirit.
My mouth was just slightly open. Brother Andy said that at the count of 3, he wants us to start speaking in tongues. Never mind that it sounds like jibberish.
I couldn't. All I remembered was crying so hard my jaw was shaking really badly and I was heaving. My shoulders started to convulse and I was sure my fingers were shivering, though I didn't look at them.
My tongue felt like it wanted to move, but really, my head was really overpowering and it sort of made it freeze.
Pastor Darick prayed for me, placing a hand (I might add it was a huge one) over my head (which made me feel really like a child, but I truly am, I'm a child of God).
After a while, they stopped the baptism of the holy spirit. They asked those that know that they have been baptized by the holy spirit to step back a few steps, and those that know that they hadn't (or don't know that they have) to take a few steps forward.
I was so sure I hadn't. All I did was stand there with my legs trembling and cry.
Really, sometimes I hate myself. After a short indecisive moment, I stepped forward, squeezing through the people before me.
Then came the second round of baptism in the holy spirit.
Really now, I uttered some nonsense words. My stomach heaved again, my eyes leaked tears, my jaw couldn't stop quivering, my legs were almost giving way.
I think the words I murmured were just copies of all my previous experiences with adult leaders speaking and administering in tongues. I don't think it was at all original.
I think, that if it were from God, I may not remember it. I recall quite vividly I was willing my tongue to not just stay motionless in the middle of my mouth (I really felt that it wanted to move, but I couldn't move it, I think my head was restraining it).
Then I willed my tongue to move and it came out like a string of words from a spoiled radio.
Shalalalalaandiliandiliandiliohrabashandili...
and so on.
I felt that I've heard it somewhere before.
I'm such a copy cat.
But even if I wasn't baptized by the holy spirit, there are still more chances, right? I really think the holy spirit has graced this occassion by even being present. I'm pretty sure I don't cry so easily, but then, it was like I felt I could cry forever and nothing could stop the flow... but maybe the lack of body fluid can though.
What I'm saying is, even if I wasn't baptized by the holy spirit, somehow, some way, God will definitely make it happen.
Because in all my life as a Christian, this is the second time I've ever cried before the Lord and release the tears so freely.
This is progress.
This is the right church for me.
