For the sake of my rapidly vanishing sanity, I have decided to hold a monologue (with myself, obviously) on this blog. Must be very exciting for you all, being able to sneak a peek into my otherwise obscure and shrouded-in-shadows life. Yes, so very exciting.
But come on now, who do I kid? There's probably no one to read this anyway.
Well, here's a little inconsequential trivia for you: my weight is currently a palindrome. Or at least, it was when I weighed myself a couple of hours ago.
What truly fascinates me is that I have never, not since I was 5 centimetres shorter (that might have been more than 5 years ago), weighed under 45.0 kilograms.
...oh come on now, you can't expect me to be ashamed of my weight. I'm not one of those flighty girls on the street who giggle and blush when you compliment their make-up, then act all offended when you pry about their measurements (actually, I don't know my sizes, so don't bother). Really now, do you actually expect to see me with make-up?
That is, however beside the point. I digress.
In a most interesting twist of what I hesitate to call fate (because, surely, not many of you believe in fate), I find myself much lighter (almost 5.0 kilograms lighter, in fact) than I was a few months before, around the time of NAPFA. This has been most surprising, considering how much fats I consumed during my little stint in New York where I was fed the equivalent of 6-7 proper Asian servings a day when 3 would already have been more than enough thank you very much.
(I didn't finish around half of that, of course, but still...)
I must also add that most of those meals consist of deep-fried chips (fries, if you're American) and BBQ chicken (not exactly my cup of tea) with way too much oozing oil for my comfort.
ANYWAY.
When I weighed myself this morning out of curiosity, I found myself at 43.4 kilograms, which left me quite stupid for a few moments as my hard drive struggles to discern what could possibly contribute to this stunning loss of weight.
Must have been the days I spent sleeping and the nights I spent awake, it finally (and brilliantly) deduced.
Jet lag, I blame. I don't eat in the nights (no appetite) so naturally, sleeping in the mornings and waking at night led to only one or two meals a day, certainly not enough to maintain my impressive weight of between 45.0 kilograms to 48.0 kilograms.
For the record, I have never exceeded 48.0 kilograms -- never even reached it, in fact. It's kind of like a weight ceiling for me. Similarly, I have never lost so much weight that I fall to below 45.0 kilograms. It just doesn't work that way, you know, when you're actually eating proper meals and not fed the garbage they load onto your tray on aeroplanes (or the hunk of junk they dump onto your disposable plate -- almost every meal in New York is taken with disposable utensils -- when I was back in the US).
Pity.
I'm not actively trying to correct my sudden weight loss, though. Perhaps I see it as a challenge to myself; my sister posed to herself the challenge of being 43.0 kilograms by some day in May, so maybe my subconscious just wants to prove to myself (because, really, who else am I proving to?) that if she can do it, so can I.
I almost did it (not that I was actually consciously trying).
And I'm using this as an excuse to binge -- not that my stomach is letting me eat much. I need to ease a little into eating more than a handful of rice. Ugh. Ooh, I miss gorging on food.
My point is, I'm taking full advantage of my delightful loss of weight, but I suppose I should caution myself not to go too far. I realise that I am becoming somewhat obsessed with maintaining this sub-45.0 weight and it's not good for me. I think I might be verging on anorexic soon if I don't stop harping about how slim I'm going to be if I lose just a kilogram or two more.
Hey, if I'm going to continue losing weight, maybe I'll be as thin as Cumberbatch who plays Sherlock Holmes in BBC's modern-day adaptation of the famous detective!
(...Grace, Awa, what have you done to me? Now I'm hopelessly pining for Sherlock season 3 which won't be aired until end of next year and it's ALL YOUR FAULT!)
Although, that's not particularly a pleasant thought. I mean, his leanness is nice to admire and all, but I don't really fancy being all awkward elbows and knees (not that in my current state I'm not close to -- I've been told I've got thin arms -- but I try to be less sharp...unless you're talking about wit and tongue, then I would dearly love to hone those).
Okay, my stomach's feeling really funny now. That can either mean that I'm really hungry and should probably swallow a whale or that I'm really full and all that churning's warning me to head for a toilet. I think I'll go for the latter, seeing how I just had a really big lunch earlier (mm, frozen lunches and bananas is a really good way to fill you up when you're home alone and bored to death trying to procrastinate on homework).
Ta.
