I wonder what I would be like if I didn't gather enough courage to step to the front during alter call today at church.
Those whose heart have gone dry and need Jesus to come and soften it, those who have commited sins that need to be forgiven, and those who want to receive Christ into their lives were called down.
There were 2 more, but I can't remember. You all know my fabulous memory.
Basically, I went for the first one listed. I haven't done quiet time. I haven't prayed to God. I have done nothing that shows I'm a Christian.
All I have been was a good girl. Well, as good as my definition of 'good' can get.
I washed my shoes, I eat my greens, I don't spout vulgarities (like some people I know).
That's all. Just that.
Isn't that a little dull for a Christian? The only Christian-y thing I've done is go to church.
And of course, tried to invite Zann along.
Back to what I was talking about before. I went down for alter call, and by the looks of my friends faces when I returned, they must have thought I did something naughty...
Sigh. Whatever shall I do?
It was the first time I went down for alter call without anybody accompanying me, but somehow, courage just flowed through my veins and put a reign on me. It directed me like a horse to before the stage.
There, I was administered to in tongues. Just like a well about to dry up from the scorching heat but refreshed till it could hold no more during the monsoon period, sparkles fell from the edge.
Living waters overflowed within me, just like the song that was playing: 'Living waters flow over, come wash from deep within, my heart is ready now."
Like a barren desert that suddenly brimmed with life, it was like some revelation was bestowed upon me. Like all the dryness has been washed away by Jesus' tears.
It felt like I was renewed. Reborn.
Okay. I know that doesn't sound like me. You must be thinking I got kidnapped and someone else took over my identity.
No no. That can NEVER happen. God will save me. That, I'm sure of.
Everytime something happens without a reason, the immediate thought in my mind is: 'God is trying to teach me a lesson.'
I don't know why, but when anything occurs, my reasoning will be that it is God's divine arrangement.
Our worship today lasted 40 minutes, in which we sang our hearts out, jumped and danced till our feet and legs wore out, our lungs deflated like a balloon with multiple pricks.
It was so cramped down there at the front that once, I accidentally jumped on the left foot of the guy beside me. Oops.
I want to be like the P6 boys in front of me. Even when no one else was jumping, they did just that. I want to be able to lose myself in God so much that the rest of reality just becomes a vague blur.
But then again, maybe the boys were just...out of touch with the world. Like little kids are. Don't know embarrassment...
I've only worshipped this long for once or twice more so I quickly ran out of stamina, but I heard that at the church camp I'm going to we were to worship for 4 hours.
I would like to experience that.
Today I got my watch fixed at my grandpa's house too.
