YES!!!
4.0 for BIOLOGY!
WOOHOO!
Hey! That means I've got a chance to take advanced Biology next year! Now if only I can get through and interview and obtain some random Bio teacher's recommendation...that's gonna be hard...
Anyway, so now I've got 3.6 for Physics (of all things...), 4.0 for Chemistry and 4.0 for Biology.
Isn't that great?
I only need another 2 things for my day to be perfect. 1. Pass all exams. 2. MUST. PASS. CHINESE. (this technically falls under the broad category of 'all exams', but still)
Now, adjourn with me into my trusty time machine and off to 15 May '09...
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Ah, now, where was I?
Oh yes, it is 15 May '09 and I am on the school bus on my way to school. Now, I am complaining to myself (yes, useless, I know) that it I am caught in a most untimely situation. I have anemia. Well, that should be over in a couple of days but that's not the issue here. The thing is, I have my 2.4km run that very day too.
So you can imagine me sitting in my seat, one elbow on the window sill with my head resting on the back of my hand (the one with the elbow on the window sill). Being the outrageously religious person I am, I believe that I have done something wrong (or would do something wrong) and that God is pissed so he punished me that way.
All the way to school (and through school) I am getting myself moping about the situation. This is what young punks would like to call 'emo-ing'. Yes, so I am emo-ing and voicing my displeasure to my friends who I'd like to thank for listening to this batty person yattering away selfishly.
Extreme reluctance follows as I sit in dread at the prospect of the upcoming physically taxing (and not to mention utterly horrible) test. The muscles on my arm begin to tense and I am feeling as if I have been doing pull-ups for the past...oh, 10 minutes straight, perhaps. Minus the pain. It feels sour and seriously contracted.
So there, I am running scenarios with myself in a variety of possible situations (take for example, me being dragged off the track due to my excessively huge width blocking a whole width of the track [that didn't happen, just sarcasm]) and the teacher calls everybody to gather around. I sit through a brief briefing (yes, doesn't it sound cool?) and then wait again for the test.
Then I feel something fall on my arm. Then another. Then another. More pelting occurs and we are told to sit under the shelter of the walkway. Then it starts raining in light sprinkles, just heavy enough to render the 2.4km run unrunnable.
The rain doesn't stop falling for a long time. We are then told to go to the canteen to sit it out. More waiting ensues. It is announced that 2.4km run will be postponed to Tuesday.
The only thing that is running through my mind is 'Thank God'.
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God works wonders. Maybe he just made rain fall because he wants to show me he knows what he's doing, that he can turn any situation around. I was being an idiot. I thought that God was against me because I was anemic on that day and I didn't consider what the weather might do to the possibility of the run.
God is just awesome the way he is, no?
Then there is the Biology test. After it I was so sure I had missed 4.0 by a bit. I was so sure. I finished the paper a little too early.
Alright. I'm lying. I finished it much earlier than the intended time. I finished it with 45min to spare, that or 1 hour. When the paper was discussed with other people and they inputted their views I figured I simply screwed up the whole thing.
Over the next few days (all the way until today, before the test results were revealed) I kept brooding about Biology. I then figured that I really wanted to do Bio RA if not simply attain Biology as one of the subjects in my subject combo. I figured I really like Bio and don't want to give up on it. Every time I think that I may not get 4.0 for Bio (really high expectations, yes, I know) and thus be unable to get into Bio RA I get really depressed and my heart has that sinking feeling like I've just suffered a huge blow.
I really like Bio.
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When they went through all the answers the feeling that I haven't done well started growing. I start to doubt myself so much because I had spotted so many differences between the model answers and what I wrote. I feel like I had simply screwed up the test.
Then I got the results back.
'50' is the first thing that registers. I have yet processed that I've gotten a 4.0. My math is bad. I'd only gotten a 25/40.
'Well Done!' is next. I started doing mental math.
'I GOT 4.0!' is the final thought that races through my mind before it goes on a complete shut down. I have acheived my goal. You can't say that after all the stress from before I don't deserve the right to completely ignore my surroundings for a bit and enjoy the bliss of it all.
I. Am. So. Freaking. Happy.
I can't really explain how it feels (I'll never be an author...) but it is simply awesome. It feels like I have perched Mount Everest and am the first to do so. There is a sense of relief (as if you're glad you survived the climb) and extreme joy.
One thing that will register in your mind after few seconds of numbness is:
'Praise God. Praise be to him on high.'
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You must have noticed the common factor between those two stories, 'God'.
Then there's another story. One about Philosophy and how it just seems to challenge my religion.
------------------------time machine groaning------------------------
I am being given an article about Euthanasia and arguements about legalizing this drug. I stare at it and the first thing I think of is 'No, they should not legalize it. It is simply not right to kill yourself.' Then I rest my case because I am not sure whether I want to think about the non-Christian side to the issue.
I am then forced to sit through a discussion that would start me on processing ideas against my religion and challenging my beliefs. I do not allow any of the strange and unholy thoughts to penetrate past the line of 'listening' and into 'acceptance'. I pay attention to the discussion but find nothing to say. I do not think that my religious views will be very readily accepted in the discussion.
I am upright and I will not allow any of those ideas to influence my religious beliefs so I am unable to perform my 'Philosophical evaluation' of the situation well. I am deeply regretful that I am unable to do so but further discussion digressing into issues of unholy nature will only cause me to tune out to the entire discussion.
Throughout the discussion I only give my input a few times, and only when clarification is needed. There is an exception but I do not remember (Sophia recorded that there is but I cannot recall any). I refrain from saying anything. The whole discussion makes me dizzy and sleepy. Nothing really gets comprehended in my mind. I think it is some sort of a defense mechanism when something against my religion is being discussed.
I do not find the need to discus the issue because I know my stand and I will not allow any space for the 'acceptance of others' ideas'. I do not care whether it is going to dictate my failure to be promoted from Sec2 to Sec3 but I will not, I repeat, will NOT stay to let any ideas cloud my vision of my Father in heaven.
If they do not want any religious ideas in the discussion then I have nothing to say. Human rights (as defined by the world) states that an individual is allowed to do whatsoever he or she wishes to do to himself or herself. So saying, there is nothing except for my religion that makes me go against legalizing Euthanasia. It is as if anyone who wants to control their lives is playing God. I don't like that. I do not want to consider that.
I think the Philosophy curriculum of RGS should be more accumulating and considerate to the different kinds of pupils in the school. It is utterly unfair if I am forced to be detained for a year (or the consequent ones too if Sec2 Philosophy continues as it is) due to my religious beliefs. If they want to consider something absolutely unrelated to the ways of my religion then by all means go ahead.
Actually, I think RGS shouldn't have Philosophy at all. It simply ruins our lives.
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See? People might think I'm delusional, that I should get my head out of all that 'God' business, but I won't. I stand firm by what I think and what I am influenced to think through my religious beliefs. I will not conform to the ways of the school just to attain certain academic qualifications. None of this Earthly qualifications will be of any value in heaven. I wish to concentrate on God.
If need be I may complain to the school board and request to change the topic of Philosophy discussions as it is interfering with my (and others like me) beliefs.
I am human, so shouldn't I have the right to decide whether or not I wish to take part in such discussions? Philosophy is all about thinking. If I do think well and am able to view ideas from other point of views but simply do not wish to accept arguements going against my religion and belief, will I not be allowed to be promoted if I do not fulfill the criteria of what is expected of Sec2 Philosophy course?
I think this part of the Philosophy course is challenging the wrong thing.
It challenges my religion instead of my ability to think. This may not affect students who are not of the same mental processes as I and are thus less likely to be affected by religious beliefs but I will not be swayed by the requirements of society.
I will only do what is right and pleasing to God (if it is within my control) and I will ask for forgiveness, beg, actually, if I do displease him because upsetting God is worse than upsetting the whole of humanity.
God is probably the only being that is a constant in everyone's life. His role never changes. It just depends on whether you want to believe he is there or not.
